In keeping true to spreading awareness, I felt the need to share this post with all of you. You see, when I had Landon I searched EVERYWHERE for information regarding Down syndrome. It is through this searching that I came across this AMAZING community of people, who openly & willingly, were out there sharing their stories & their BEAUTIFUL children. It took me a few weeks to finally have the courage to start my own blog. That "moment" came when I realized that all of these selfless families took time out of their busy days to share their stories, which in turn HELPED me! I saw the good in blogging, and the amazing effects it had on those who had already embarked on this wonderful journey and for those who were preparing to.
So, here "I" am, SHARING our story, in hopes that I too will be someone else's "moment".
I love watching blogs evolve, a true testament to the experience of personal growth. Looking back at my posts, I too, see my personal growth. At the beginning, I was so unsure of EVERYTHING, I was out there just finding my way on this dark path with lots of forks in the road. Lots of important decisions to make. I'm still unsure of things, but I am happy to say that I have a little more faith in myself. How can I not, when my children DEPEND on me.
We have been so fortunate to have a wonderful support circle and to be surrounded by the most loving & supportive family & friends. Our lives ARE more alike than different which has helped in making all the puzzle pieces fit. Not MUCH has changed after having Landon, although a lot more people's lives have been touched by his presence. Just makes my heart smile=)
Although I have found my place of peace, I am very well aware of the fact that we do not live in a plastic bubble. You see, when Landon was born, I played out lots of scenarios in my head. What will I do/say if someone refers to Landon as "the R word"? How will I handle the staring? You get my point!! So, I drew up this game plan in my mind and had a Plan A, B C, etc.. I felt like I always had to be prepared to handle ANYTHING that came my way. Strategically placed plans for each scenario. I am happy to say that those plans have stayed in the "play book". Don't get me wrong, I have encountered staring on many occasions, sometimes leaving me to feel sad and scared (knowing that this IS part of Landon's future). But I tackle that issue with exposing Landon to everything & everyone! I am proud of who he is, and I want the world to know that. I'm assuming that it is more of a curiosity thing. I just wish people would be more open and ask questions. That works for me!
Two days ago, a person that I knew, did approach me & asked a question. The conversation was going well and then all of a sudden, I found myself.......SPEECHLESS!! (I know those of you who know me well are in complete shock right now. Kelly...speechless.....two words that don't quite fit together). LOL This conversation changed rather quickly when it went from "Landon is absolutely adorable, he is truly mesmerizing", to, "HOW is he doing (with that look of sympathy), is he ABLE to learn?" WHAT??? Are you kidding me? All those witty comebacks and all those plans were NOWHERE to be found. It was just me, this person and this long pause of silence (like an outer body experience). I was searching for words but none were to be found. THOUGHTS, oh yes, thoughts I had. Like my initial thought of "Are you kidding me, you are worried if Landon CAN learn? You've got some learning to do yourself!" I made a quick recovery with all of the wonderful things that Landon IS doing. I kept my composure, ended the conversation and off she went. All of a sudden I was flushed with emotion and I could not stop laughing (to myself of course). What did she think.....Landon was like a stuffed animal or an elf on a shelf that just sits around looking cute and waits for someone to play with it? Seriously?! It was in those moments following that I realized just how far I have come. A year ago, I am sure this would have been a very ugly confrontation and a lot of hurt feelings. Don't get me wrong, it did sting a little bit, but I realized how sorry I felt for this person instead. Sorry that she has not been touched by Down syndrome. And that she will never know what she is missing!! I am slowly starting to realize how to pick & choose my battles. As I quickly replayed the event that had just taken place, I realized that there truly was NO MALICE involved. But I was sadly slapped by reality of how some people are uneducated and misinformed when it comes to Down syndrome. *sigh*
I am proud of myself. Proud of how much I have grown these past 19 months. And I must make sure that my objective stays clear and that I keep my eyes on the ultimate goal. And so with this life lesson and Landon in my heart, I will continue on in my efforts to help spread awareness. EDUCATE! EDUCATE! EDUCATE! This is definitely the key to our children's future!!
kelly - what a beautiful BEAUTIFUL post! AWESOME!!!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great post! Thanks for sharing. I think that one of the best thing we can do for our kiddos is educate others...one person at a time. Thanks for helping with the effort!!
ReplyDeletegreat post kelly:) you handled that really well. i'm not sure what i would have said maybe.... "ummm, really? you think this is a good question? do you want to think that over and try again?" some people, (not our children) need a little help with compassion, and common sense:) anyways i could go on and on, but you did great:)
ReplyDeleteI think you handled the situation perfectly!! And you are right to assume that there was no malice involved, just lack of knowledge. I, too wish that everyone got to have the experience that I have with Ella and all she has brought to our lives so that no one would feel sorry for her or us. You are awesome and ther perfect mom for Landon!!!
ReplyDelete<3 Thank goodness for you and your eagerness to educate! If everyone put forth half as much, we could educate the ignorant and this world would be a much better place!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Kelly. I love your reflection of the past 19 months and how far you have come.
ReplyDeleteYou handled the situation well, I am thankful you had the opportunity to educate. I had someone ask me last night "So what is down syndrome?" They really had no idea what it was. Education is the key.
Way to go my friend! So proud of you.
Great post! We can all see the evolution in ourselves from the time we started this amazing journey. I'm so proud of all of us.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your friend just didn't know anything about Ds. I sure didn't when Samantha was born. I think I was pretty sure she'd be that elf on the shelf. But thanks to the internet and all the wonderful folks out there that had already begun their journeys, I learned otherwise, pretty quickly! You curbed your initial reaction to your friend beautifully. Glad you had the opportunity to tell her what Landon's *learning*!!
That's awesome Kelly! It is amazing what people don't know but you know what, I was probably one of them and maybe you too. Although I'm pretty sure I knew people with DS could learn! LOL. But hopefully if she has more encounters with you and Landon she will learn more about him and how he's not all that different. Think of how many people we've all touched and then maybe they will spread this knowledge to others.
ReplyDeleteDown syndrome is going to change in the next several years as far as what people know and how they accept our children. It has to with all these blogs now, fb and such. We just have to keep on keeping on for the sake of our boys!;) Good job on keeping your cool and perhaps cutting her a little slack;)
Great post. When my own sister met Max for the first time, he was just over a year old. And I too, had to chuckle at her reaction. She was amazed that he acted like a 'normal' toddler, curious, trying to sit up on his own, etc. I too, wondered, what did you think, he would just be staring into space!?
ReplyDeleteYou are so right. The key to our children's success is to educate! I am proud of how you handled things.
ReplyDeleteLove this post...you are right educating is most important because most people really aren't trying to hurt our feelings when they say things that leave us "speechless" they are just completely uneducated and unaware. Thanks for sharing with us!
ReplyDeletethis was great!! it is truly a sad thing that people do not know how great our kiddos are!! I cannot wait to see what each and everyone of them become!! i do admit I get so frustrated when I have the perfect reaction 20 min after the conversation!! education is the best for all of us....thanx for the GREAT post...smiles
ReplyDeleteYOU GO GIRL!!! Way to keep your composure and handle the situation with the grace it deserved. I try to forgive the silly comments that people make and remember that not that long ago I didn't know a thing about Ds and may have asked a very stupid question too. (maybe not that stupid but still...)
ReplyDeleteLOVE this post!! This is why are beautiful children are so amazing. We learn more from them then they will EVER learn from us! Amazing!
ReplyDeleteLoved this post!! I am still finding my way in all this...I am trying to push past the comments and stares that hurt, because like you said they are not meant to be mean or hurtful, these people are just uneducated about Ds. Its just hard when its your perfect little baby you love so much...its hard to keep your emotions in check in times like that...I'm learning, slowly, to let these things slide when I can...and hopefully people are learning from me...thats all we can hope for...for people to learn about it Down syndrome.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!!
WooHoo! I love this post! I rarely get offended by others ignorance since it's my role to educate (along with kayli's). Unless they are deliberately being hateful- very rare. You should be proud!
ReplyDeleteGreat Post - thanks for sharing! I think you handled the situation perfectly - well done! It is a pity that people have such little knowledge about Ds... but you have taught one more person and shed some light on the subject for her - hopefully she will teach someone she knows and so the knowledge spreads!
ReplyDeleteWhile there are lots and lots of great things we can do for our kids, I firmly believe that the greatest thing is to EDUCATE others! Until Claire was born I am sure that I would have been one of those well intentioned people who said the wrong thing, or asked the wrong question. So now, I try not to take offense if someone is just curious.
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